Snow White: A Woman's Quest for Attention

On October 6, 2014, I went on a date with the man whom I would soon grow to love. On October 22, 2016, this man asked me to be his wife. We are currently in the throes of wedding planning; on October 28, 2017, I will become Mrs. Williams. Along with my new last name, I will gain three “bonus children.” We do not like the term “stepmother”; its connotations are far too negative. I mention all of this because I had no clue just how “fairy tale” our love story truly is. I could go on and on about the flowers he sends for no reason. I could regale you all with our engagement story (it was one for the books), but I will stick to the assignment and talk about “Snow White.”

Despite my best attempts to rise above “the evil stepmother” insignia emblazoned on my chest, I found myself unwillingly thrust into battle with my future husband’s teenage daughter. For the life of me, I could never understand why she hated me so much… then I read the assigned “Snow White” materials. As the introduction explains, “many versions of the story show (step) mother and daughter competing for the attention of a charismatic male figure” (86). When our relationship was budding and new, I was the center of the charismatic male’s attention. I failed to realize that in between the time when he divorced his former wife and met me, his beautiful, young daughter got all of the attention that I swooped in and stole. Now with that being said, I pride myself on self-awareness; I realize that I can be a jealous old hag. Following a divisive argument between my handsome prince’s daughter and myself, we determined that the young princess and the old queen needed separation. So, my prince spent time with his daughter… just them… without me! I became very jealous and nearly forced him to choose. Fortunately, I have a child of my own, so I realized that even suggesting such a choice would truly make me an evil witch. With time, the princess and I came to an agreement that did involve poisonous apples or tiny coal-mining men.

While reading the assigned material, I had several “ah-ha” moments. Why was I jealous of her? I knew very well why she was jealous of me, but why was I jealous of her? Was it her role as his daughter? I cannot, nor do I wish to take her place. Was it her ability to cause issues with my handsome prince and me? He has always stuck by my side, so that should not be a problem. Then it clicked: My jealousy may have nothing to do with her relationship with her father so much as her relationship with me!

Though the story has changed throughout history, the central idea remains the same – women are taught to be enslaved by their looks. Gilbert and Gubar insightfully state that “Snow White has exchanged one glass coffin for another, delivered from the prison where the Queen put her only to be imprisoned in the looking glass from which the King’s voice speaks daily.” In my personal situation, the roles were reversed. I was the raved-haired distraction that stole the queen’s attention. However, in time, I found that my position as star player was threatened, so I began to toy with sinister plots.

I have known the Disney version of this tale for as long as I can remember. The stepmother was jealous and wanted her beautiful stepdaughter out of the picture. That is a plot I can handle. The idea of the stepmother and birth mother being the same person blows my mind. BUT as an educator, I see this scenario play out far more often than I care to admit. Mothers are jealous of their daughters’ sixteen-year-old figure. They think back on their pre-baby bodies and begrudgingly blame their stretch marks on the younger, prettier versions of themselves. I have never considered “Snow White” a feminist tale, but I think it is safe to say the shoe fits (no Cinderella pun intended). The suggestion of women’s roles being dwarfed and their only stock and store being their looks… no wonder women hate each other so much! We have been taught to feel threatened by those who are younger and prettier than us. We expect men to “kill” for us before we accept that their love is true. This speaks volumes about the relationship between wives and their mothers-in-law and stepmothers and their stepdaughters. My bonus princes and I get along just fine, so why does the princess hate me?

I’m sorry for being so all over the place; my mind has been racing with ideas since I read the introduction and essay. I am truly enthralled by the ideas presented in the text about this classic tale.